The Intact Baby Boy

Those of you who practice EC know that you see things that other parents never see. Things like spotting and the blast force of a breast milk poopy. For those with boys, what you see while standing at the sink looking down at his penis while he makes a pee pee can be surprising and perhaps scary if you don't know what to expect.

First, an anatomy lesson. The penis of a baby boy has a foreskin. If your boy does not have a foreskin, then it was removed surgically. This is not a separate or superfluous part, it is an integral part of the penis itself. Unlike the eyelid, which is not a part of or attached to, the eye, even though it plays a roll in covering the eye and holding it in its proper place, the foreskin cannot be seen as a separate organ or bit of tissue from the penis. The foreskin is not near the penis or attached to the penis, it is PART of the penis.

A foreskin is usually adhered, at birth, to its penis. Unlike the foreskin of an adult male which is fully retractable, an infant's foreskin does not retract but remains over the glans of the penis. Most foreskins extend beyond the glans of the flaccid penis and usually beyond the glans of the erect penis, as well, at least in babies.

Because the foreskin is adhered to the glans (also called the "head" of the penis), do NOT attempt to pull it back to uncover the glans, no matter what some ignorant doctor or mother-in-law suggests! Pulling on the foreskin before it is ready to retract can cause ripping and scarring on the glans. This will be painful for the baby, could result in infection, scarring and unnatural adhesions requiring surgery or circumcision, or could cause phimosis, an emergency condition whereby the foreskin gets stuck in the retracted position.

So, there you are, holding your little man in the Potty Position, looking over his shoulder, down to his penis. What do you see? You will probably notice that the penis always tends to point or drape to a particular side. Tommy's Papa told me this is sometimes called "dress", as in, "He dresses to the right." This is normal. No need to attempt to make it hang straight.

As he starts to pee you will notice that before any urine comes out the area in front of the glans plumps up as the foreskin fills. Then the urine shoots out of the end of the foreskin. The opening in the foreskin my be very tiny in newborns. That will cause the stream of urine to be thin and high pressure. Do not be frightened by this. It is completely normal. You don't need to rush him to the doctor to get the opening in the foreskin enlarged. A tiny opening in the foreskin does not mean that the baby's meatus, the opening in the tip of the penis which you can't see because it is under the foreskin, is small or restricted.

Through the natural processes of urination, erections and general handling, the adherence of the foreskin to the glans of the penis will lessen over time until eventually the foreskin will be able to retract completely off of the glans onto the shaft. There is no set amount of time in which this must occur. Studies in Scandinavian countries have shown that it can take up to 18 years in some men. On average it occurs at a much younger age. Don't be surprised if you never know when it occurs, because you aren't likely to see much of your son's penis after he is completely toilet independent.

The first signs of the lessening of the grip of the foreskin to the glans is an increasing size of the opening in the end of the foreskin through which the urine flows. You will notice this as the disappearance of the bulging that used to occur at the tip of the penis during urination. When the size of the opening in the foreskin matches the size of the opening in the penis (the meatus), or is very close in size, the urine doesn't build up in the foreskin before squirting out. This will result in a lower pressure urination, but it will still be pretty forceful.

Another thing you might notice is that the pee pee tends to always shoot in the same direction (slightly left, right, upward or downward) regardless of the way the penis hangs. This probably has to do with the location of the opening in the foreskin in relation to the meatus. If it tends to shoot upwards, you have to adjust your potty position accordingly in order to avoid time consuming clean ups.

TM has no clue how pottying looks with a circumcised baby. Feel free to post your own experiences in the comments if you think they will be edifying to a first-timer.

Some Days Are Not So Pleasant

Today Tommy wasn't too interested in the potty. The nap was elusive. He was put down in the usual manner several times, but he was never able to sleep for more than about 20 or 30 minutes. Normally he sleeps at least an hour.

TM managed one Catch in the sink, with some coaxing. Tommy was arching his back and fussing. Normally an arched back means he doesn't need to go and so the attempt is abandoned, but TM knew he did need to pee pee, so she insisted he sit still (well, sit in the Potty Position) and go. After about a minute, he tinkled and returned merrily to his play. Carried in TM's arms, of course.

Going Potty Here and There

When Tommy woke this morning he was taken to the potty first thing. However, big sister was using the sink so TM took Tommy to the toilet instead. Standing in front of the pot, facing it in the manner that a man would do in order to urinate, she held Tommy in the potty position over the toilet. The potty position simply means that Tommy is sitting in TM's hands with his back against her tummy or chest. Her hands are gripping Tommy under the thighs.

He reclines slightly and his legs are held apart and bent at the hips. Almost as if he was squatting in a semi-horizontal pose. The legs have to be held apart in this manner to prevent his pee pee from spraying his feet.

TM was not able to use this standing position with the last two EC babies. Apparently all of that T-Tapping is paying off! The usual manner of using the toilet as a potty place had TM sitting on a step stool in front of the toilet. The step stool is also handy for when the ECing baby starts sitting on the mini-seat that attaches to the toilet seat. Mommy needs to be right there to prevent the baby from taking a nasty fall.

So, Tommy's Mommy scores a Catch in the toilet right off the bat!

Tommy is then placed in the sling so TM can make breakfast. About 30 minutes later, it is decided that it might be time for Tommy to tinkle again. The only signal TM gets is a slight warm feeling on her hip where Tommy sits in the sling. Rather than trotting all the way to the bathroom while she is watching the oatmeal cook, she decides to use the big red potty bowl.

The bowl is placed on a nearby table (ok, ok, it's the dining room table) and Tommy is lifted out of the sling and his diaper is untucked from the the Diaper Belt in front. Tommy is held in the Potty Position and very quickly he starts a stream. TM is observant to make sure the stream lands directly in the center of the bowl. YES! Another catch!

The tricky thing about using bowls and holding the baby over them instead of tucking the bum in them is that baby may decide to poop while he is peeing. If he is being held in such a way that the stream of urine is landing in the center of the bowl, the poopy may miss the bowl entirely and you will have a bit of a mess. This is why TM so much prefers the bathroom sink for pottying. It is large enough that the baby's bottom can be moved over the sink without worrying that he will pee completely over it. And even if he does, the pee will just hit the mirror or the counter and can be easily cleaned.

I'm sorry this blog has such a lack of useful photos. The problem, of course, is that TM is the one holding Tommy when he potties, and she can't simultaneously operate the camera.